Never Ending Saddness
by halfdemon-gurl15
Summary: COMPLETE!I love my Sana dearly. Why did you have to leave me? Why did you have to leave me all alone? Why did you have to die? I MISS YOU SO MUCH SANA! I can’t stand to be without you, I can’t LIVE without you’re smile.RR Please!
1. Gone Away

Title: Never Ending Sadness  
  
Author: Halfdemon-gurl15  
  
Manga: Kodocha: Sana's Stage  
  
Author: Miho Obana  
  
Summary: I love my Sana dearly. Why did you have to leave me? Why did you have to leave me all alone? Why did you have to die? I MISS YOU SO MUCH SANA! I can't stand to be without you, I can't LIVE without you're smile.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Kodocha, and I would like to say that if there really is a movie like the one I describe, sorry but I didn't know and I do not own it.anyway.please Read and Review!  
  
This fic starts about the time the Manga ends, now, I haven't seen any of the Anime, I've only read the Manga series 1-10 so, yea.anyway.on with the fic! HINT* This is Akito's point of view!  
  
Chapter 1: Gone Away  
  
I laid on my bed, starring at the ceiling in my room thinking about the day Sana will get back from Hawaii. She flew there for a movie she's doing called 'Ride the Blue' and plays the younger sister to a famous woman suffer, who in the end wins a championship and Sana is the one who talks her sister into taking the chance, and surf in the competition. The part was made just for her. She told me all about it, and she promised to bring a copy of it so that I could watch it before it comes out in theaters. She is coming back in a week. I miss her so much, she's been gone for 3 months, but I call her everyday, I don't always get a hold of her, sometimes.no, most of the time she's working on the movie, but she always calls me back as soon as she gets a chance. It gets lonely here without her. I miss her smile, how she brightens everyone's day when she enters the room, how she makes me feel like I am everything I can be, how she makes me want to be a better person.  
  
'oh Sana, I can't wait till you return to me, till you return to my arms.'  
  
"Akito! Come down stairs! It's time for dinner." I sat up from my bed when I heard my Kyoodai calling. I was about to say I wasn't hungry when she yelled up once more, "Akito! Otoosan brought home SUSHI! Come eat!" I smiled to myself as I got out of bed and made my way down the stairs to the kitchen. "I knew that would get you to eat. I know that you're upset that Sana had to go, right after we got home from LA but at least she comes back in a week, so cheer up would ja? You're making Me feel depressed." I rolled my eyes, I hated it when Otoosan is right. I sat down at my usual spot at the table and ate my sushi slowly. "Oishii sushi Otoosan! Arigatoo Gozaimasu!" My sister said lovingly. She then turned to look at me suggestively. "I didn't hate it." I said before getting up and leaving the room. I could hear my Kyoodai fuming about my manors. I shrugged it off before opening the door to my room and closing it swiftly behind me, to get back right to what I was doing before, starring at the ceiling above my head.  
  
Ever since Sana left for that movie I haven't gotten much sleep. When Otoosan and Natsumi are both in bed I go out running, and once I didn't come back for a few days. Otoosan got worried and said that if I must go running, I have to come home the next day. I couldn't do that in LA, it was too dangerous, and Otoosan locked the doors and windows so that I couldn't run, and I had to stay cooped up in the house. I felt like an animal in a cage. Cheetah's are meant to run, we're not meant for cages.  
  
But tonight I was really tired, so I only ran till dawn and came home. I didn't want to go to school, but Otoosan made me. I didn't see the point, since I fell asleep in class anyway.  
  
I just can't wait till Sana-chan comes back to me next week. I'll be here, waiting for her, for my love.  
  
***NEXT WEEK***  
  
I felt a pang in my heart as I ran, something was wrong, I knew it was. My cheetah instincts told me so. I went home as this feeling of dread rose up into my chest. It squeezed my heart as I ran up the sidewalk to my house, when I realized that there were people over, and it was in the middle of the night.  
  
"Otoosan? Who are all these people, what are they doing here?" I heard Natsumi ask sleepily as I ran in the door. I squeezed through the people standing at the front door. There were three of them, and one of them was talking to Otoosan, I didn't get to here most of the conversation between the two of them. I finally got to Otoosan, Natsumi, and the man Otoosan was talking to, just in time to hear the words. "Sana has died." I didn't know who said it, but whoever it was had gone on to say other things, I didn't hear it. All I heard was, Sana died, Sana died, Sana died. I heard someone say my name, but the voice was to far away, I tried to answer but the words caught in my chest, I couldn't breath, the room around me was in a haze as I heard the desperate cry of my name. I felt the weight of the world tumble on top of me, as I fell into darkness.  
  
***  
  
I awoke sometime later in a very hard bed, it wasn't mine. I heard a heart monitor steadily beeping beside me. "Sana?" I opened my eyes as the memories flooded my mind rapidly. As if someone had put a hose on full blast and stuck it up to my ear. Sana died.  
Sana's dead.  
Sana died. The same thing over and over again pounded inside my head. Did summersaults inside my skull, bruising my brain with every landing. I felt a large, strong hand grip my smaller one. I looked over to my left and Otoosan and Natsumi were sitting beside me. As well as Tsuyoshi and Fuka, their eyes were red and puffy as they stood over in the corner. "W-where's Sana?" I asked meekly, hoping this all had been one big nightmare. I heard Fuka stifle a cry and Tsuyoshi put his arm around her shoulder comforting her. "Akito, she." Otoosan started, but his voice trailed off in another direction, hoping to escape the subject that was now shoved into it's face. ".you see there was a plane crash, Sana, didn't make it. I'm sorry." The realization hit me hard as I heard Fuka's cries of sorrow, and my best friend had tears running slowly down his cheeks. My mind went blank. And I once again fell into darkness.  
  
"Sana?" I looked around , it was so dark. Completely black, with no light to shine on the emptiness I felt at that moment, I truly, truly knew what it meant to be alone. "Sana.come back to me Sana.why did you have to leave? Why did you have to leave me? Why did you have to leave me all alone? Why did you have to die? I MISS YOU SO MUCH SANA! I can't stand to be without you, I can't LIVE without you're smile." Overwhelmed by the darkness creeping into my soul, the hate of the world, the hate for myself, I let the hatred feed on my heart, let the black eat my very soul.  
  
"Sana."  
  
"I love you.My Sana.My love." 


	2. Tangled Thoughts of Nothing

A/R* FrogFroggy5: Yes, I will do translations from now on.Oops.I actually meant to do that last chappie, but I forgot! ^__^ my bad.lol so from now on, translations will be at the bottom, but for the last chapter, I will put the translations up at the top, ok? Ok.thanks for reviewing! I am happy you liked it! ^__^  
  
Translations for last chapter:  
  
Otoosan- Father Kyoodai- Sibling (sister in this case) "Oishii sushi Otoosan! Arigatoo Gozaimasu!" Tasty sushi father! Thank you! -chan -meaning, small or it is also used as a loving term.  
  
I think that takes care of everything! So, please READ AND REVIEW!  
  
A/N* WOW! I feel loved! Only two days since I put the first chapter up and I already have 3 reviews! YAY! sorry.anyway, here's the next chapter for you!  
  
***  
  
Title: Never Ending Sadness  
  
Author: Halfdemon-gurl15  
  
Manga: Kodocha: Sana's Stage  
  
Author: Miho Obana  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Kodocha, or any of the characters with in it.  
  
Chapter 2: Tangled Thoughts of Nothing  
  
"Akito.Akito! I'm alive.Akito.I Love you, Akito.don't forget me.I'm alive.Akito."  
  
***  
  
I heard a distant cry. I opened my eyes to see I was in a small room. The walls were covered with odd pink and yellow flowered wall paper, and there was only one small window that shed no light, for the curtains were drawn. I sat up, but someone pushed me back down. It was Otoosan, and I realized that I was still laying on the hospital bed. The heart monitor still beating steadily beside me.  
  
I heard him say something, but I was too preoccupied with my own thoughts to make out what it was.  
  
'Oh Sana, I love you dearly, I shall never love anyone again, as long as I live. But I will be with you soon, I can't live with out you. I Won't live without you, you're smile, you're hug, the hug that gave me the strength to carry on, even when it felt like I was just going to crumble, to fall into a billion pieces. I will be with you soon my love.'  
  
In the back of my mind I heard Otoosan say at some point that I could go home today. I nodded pointlessly and turned over to let sleep claim me, hoping that my dreams would be of Sana's sweet and gentle face, her smile her warmth, I just had to experience it again. But I can never truly be with her again, not even in my dreams. The only way I can be with her once again, the only way is to die.  
  
***  
  
After waking up the next morning in my own bed, I tried desperately to remember what I had dreamed, but all I could remember was Sana, she was trying to tell me something, I just know it.  
  
"Akito, get ready!" I heard Otoosan yell up to me. I got out of bed and walked over to my closet. My feet felt like they were made of lead as I walked. I got my only black suit out of the closet and laid it on my bed.  
  
I took an ice cold shower before putting the charcoal black suit. The material felt stiff against my bare skin. I walked downstairs, Otoosan and Natsumi waiting, both wore depressed expressions on their countenances, both wearing black. My father a suit, Natsumi a dress. Otoosan looked at me expectantly as if to ask if I was ready to go. I nodded and he turned and went out the door. Me and Natsumi followed behind.  
  
It was a dreary day, no sunlight was shining through the clouds, to say that the weather was mirroring my emotions would be an understatement, I felt worse. No amount of words or pain could express my grief on this day, the day of my one and only, Sana's funeral.  
  
I don't remember the service, all I remember is that, there was no body, they never found her body in the wreckage, the flames from the explosion must have been so hot that it disintegrated her bones. I remember crying for the second time in the part of my life I still remember. It's all blank after that.  
  
***  
  
For what seemed like the millionth time I awoke to no light. I got up out of bed and walked slowly down the hallway to the bathroom. I felt like I was still asleep, like it was all a dream.  
  
I remember turning on the bathtub faucet on, plugging up the hole, so that no water could escape. I went back to my room and got the dinosaur that Sana had given to me, it still wearing the very stylish scarf around it's neck. I knew that if Sana saw the dinosaur right now, she would start to laugh, I loved it when she laughed. It made all my troubles just float away, up into the clouds like they were never there.  
  
I went back into the bathroom and put the small figurine on the sink. The bathtub was almost full now as I reached into the bottom cabinet, pulling out Otoosan's razor. I slit my lifeless wrist with my good hand and watched the crimson drip onto the floor with pure satisfaction. I welcomed the pain, I loved the pain, but not as much as I love Sana.  
  
I felt warm water on my cold toes as the overflowing water came up and over the ceramic tub. Once again I took the razor in my left hand and sliced my right cheek, I felt the warm blood slowly stream down my face. I found scissors in the first aid kit and stabbed them right through my shoulder, I took the scissors out and blood gushed from the new wound. I felt light headed and I smiled to myself.  
  
The pain, it was nothing compared to the pain of losing Sana. No amount of pain or torture could ever be worse than the whole in my chest, the black hole that used to be my heart.  
  
I walked over to the tub and submerged my head in the hot steamy water. I felt my face tingle as forks poked and stabbed my face as the hot water scalded my cheeks. I came up from the water, my face the color of a beat. I opened my eyes to see the water had turned slightly red. I hung over the tub, trying to stay conscious as I let the blood from my shoulder turn the water crimson.  
  
"More." I said to myself. I had planned this out, I would make sure that my death was slow and painful, to repent for everything I had done to everyone else. I knew it wasn't enough, it never would, or could be enough to pay back for everything I did wrong, how many lives I've ruined.  
  
But as I went to slice another part of my body, I heard a voice inside my head, it sounded so familiar.  
  
"Sana?" I heard her voice, but I couldn't make out what she was trying to say to me. She was to far away. "SANA! If you hear me, I'm Listening!" I yelled.  
  
"I love you Akito, that's why I gave birth to you." the voice said to me. I could feel Sana's hands on my head, her fingers slowly going through my messy hair. I felt her presence as my mind slowly drifted back to that park bench, when I got sick and Otoosan came to find me, I don't remember much from that night, except that. "I love you Akito, that's why I gave birth to you, I gave birth to you, because I love you."  
  
My head began to spin with images, images of Sana, of My mother, the park bench.all swarming in my head, and if you ask me it was getting crowded.  
  
***  
  
I can't remember much after that. That was a week ago.and now, I sit alone in a dark room. There is a bunk bed in the corner opposite the one I'm sitting in at this moment. I get food three times a day, but they don't allow me to have chopsticks, or any thing to eat my slop with, not that I eat it anyway. I am considered a high risk patient, or something of that nature. All I can really think about is Sana, and I don't care what they say.  
  
I heard voices in my room, but I'm not sure of whom they were. They sounded familiar, but I couldn't seem to remember who these people are that come to visit me, so I just sat in my corner, and I think about Sana. I blocked out the world, the cold world, that took my Sana away from me. I spend all my time thinking about her, she is my only thought. Every fiber of me is dedicated to her, and I hope she knows it.  
  
I wanted to run, I wanted to leave my cell and run forever, to run until I die. I want to run till I die and die from running. But the suits wont let me go, so I refuse to move from my spot in the corner. I will sit here till I die, no matter how long I have to wait, I will die and I will be with my Sana once more.  
  
A/N* Well.PLEASE REVIEW! I don't think I used any new Japanese in this chapter so, yea. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! 


	3. Calling

Title Never Ending Sadness  
  
Author: Halfdemon-gurl15  
  
Manga: Kodocha: Sana's Stage  
  
Author: Miho Obana  
  
Chapter 3: Calling  
  
The phone at the Hayama household rang again, receiving no answer from those with in it. Mr. Hayama and Natsumi had neglected answering the phone.  
  
It had been upsetting to here of Sana's death, but now that Akito was in the condition he was, things were looking grim.  
  
"Hello?" Natsumi answered after the phone rang for the third time. "Hi Natsumi! can I speak to Akito?" The voice asked. Natsumi took the phone from her ear and stared at the receiver before putting it back up to her ear. "Who is this?" She knew this voice from somewhere... "Uh, it's me, Sana..." Natsumi's eyes widened and then she mentally smacked herself. "Listen Bitch! Whoever you REALLY are, you better not call back here! You think you're funny making prank calls? Think how Akito must feel!" With that Natsumi hung up the phone. Natsumi stared at the phone, but she knew it couldn't really be her, she died... She put on her coat and left the house, headed toward the hospital.  
  
***  
  
"What was that about Sana?" Rei asked as she hung up the cell phone. "I-I'm not quite sure..." She said looking up from the phone to Rei. "But I think, something is terribly wrong."  
  
***  
  
Akito was moved to the infirmary last night. He collapsed from lack of food and dehydration. Tsuyoshi came in to visit him, like he had done everyday since Akito's accident, and not once had Akito recognized him.  
  
Akito had lost all memory of anything that didn't have to do solely with Sana. He didn't recognize his father or his sister, He wouldn't eat, he didn't sleep, he stopped responding at all to the outside world.  
  
But last night his body couldn't take it and he went into shock, putting him into the coma he was now suffering from. His temperature would sky rocket and he would shake violently, He called out the only name he remembered, they weren't sure if he even remembered himself. The doctors couldn't explain or even comprehend his condition. The psychiatrists said it was an extreme feeling of depression, worse than they had ever seen before. One of the psychiatrists said behind closed doors that he probably would never come out of this, he would never fully recover...that he was doomed for a life of never ending sadness, that was all trapped up inside his head, that couldn't escape.  
  
It would take a miracle.  
  
***  
  
"No Rei! Something is wrong, I can feel it, and by Natsumi's reaction, I know that my feeling is right. I quit the movie, I have to go home!"  
  
"Ok Sana, We'll take the next flight over. But that's not for 3 days, so please can we at least finish you're part in the movie?" Rei asked (Trying to win best manager award).  
  
Sana sighed but in the end agreed. Although, deep in her heart, she could here Akito, calling out for her.  
  
***  
  
"Room 267 just flat lined! Get someone in there stat!" "CLEAR!"  
  
*Beep, Beep, Beep....* "That's the second time in 2 days...poor kid." One of the nurses said gossiping to her friend "I know, I've only heard bits and pieces of the story but it's all so sad, they say after that famous actress, Sana Kurata died, that his heart broke, he was in love with her you know." Natsumi passed these two nurses and hurried into Akito's room, her father had been there all night.  
  
"Otoosan, why don't you go to bed?" Natsumi asked sweetly putting her hand on his shoulder. Mr. Hayama grunted in response. As Natsumi could tell, if Akito didn't get better soon, her father would fall from this world as well. He hadn't eaten in days and all he seemed to do was sit in the room, watching Akito lie there.  
  
***  
  
The three days had just flown by...well for Rei they had, but Sana was thinking about the opposite when they were boarding the plane. But all she knew was that she had to get back. Had to get home to her cheetah boy, her Akito.  
  
A/N* HmmmMMMMmmm What will happen? (Hint* I'm a sucker for Disney Movie Endings) lol PLEASE REVIEW! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile and I'm sure this chapter sucks, but the faster you review, the faster I'll update :) 


	4. Crying

_A/N Yay! More reviews! Ok, well, here's another chapter for my faithful reviewers/readers! lol Sorry it's taken me so long to update, I know you people have been waiting a long time and I hope you still read it! Thank you and here is your final chapter!!_

**Title Never Ending Sadness**

**Author: Halfdemon-gurl15**

**Manga: Kodocha: Sana's Stage**

**Author: Miho Obana**

**Chapter 4: Crying**

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* * *

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"He may never wake up again. We're sorry." That's all the doctors had to offer for Natsumi and her father. They had nothing else, no hope, no good news, only that Akito, the boy that could push through anything, that could square off, face to face with danger and not flinch. The boy that survived everything he came into contact with, may never wake again.

* * *

"Mom, I'm home from the movie!" Sana called through out the house.

"I wonder where she could be..." Rei contemplated when they received no answer.

Sana ran through the house looking for her mother.

She had searched the entire house until there was only one room left, her own room. She opened the door and there was her mother sitting on her bed.

"Mom?" Sana said quietly. Sana walked into the room and saw that her mom was holding on tightly to a rubber mallet.

"Mom?" She asked again, she was now standing in front of her. Her mother looked up at her, and Sana saw tears streaking her face.

"Sana?" She said quietly. "Is that, really, you?" She asked quietly as she reached her hand up to touch Sana's cheek.

"Yes Mom, it's me...what's wrong?" Sana asked sitting down beside her mother.

"I...I" Her mother said as she fell on to Sana, squeezing her tightly.

"I thought you were dead." Her mother cried.

"Dead...but...why?"

"They called and said your plane had crashed, the one they said you were suppost to come home on, that plane crashed, they must have thought you were on it and died." Rei said slowly.

"But since the movie shoot was longer than expected we never got on to that plane." Sana finished looking at her mother.

"Does Akito think I'm dead too?" She said more to herself than anyone else.

"Akito!" Her mom said and shot up like a rocket.

"What? Is there something wrong?"

"He's in the hospital." Her mom said whipping the tears from her face.

"WHAT?!" Sana didn't know what was going on.

"I'll explain on the way, you need to go see him." And with that, Ms. Kurata took Sana's hand and ran down the hall with Rei on their heels

* * *

"Oh Akito, I can't believe it...you act so tuff, you're always so strong, but what has become of you...It'll take a miracle for you to even wake up...let alone to ever be able to lead a normal, _healthy_ life. If only, if only..." His father sat at his bed side, hoping that he would stir, hoping for any sign that he would be ok.

A tear slid down Mr. Hayama's face as he stared at the pale face of his son.

"Dad, you really need to get some rest, I'll sit and watch Akito, why don't you just go get some fresh air and something to eat, please?" Natsumi asked him.

"But I have to be here when he wakes up." He said not taking his eyes off of his son.

Her heart sank, she had truly hoped that he father would go and get something to eat.

* * *

They ran down the corridor of the hospital almost running into several people in the progress. Sana's mother had explained to her everything that had happened.

Sana had gotten very far ahead of her mom and Rei and as she turned a corner she ran right into someone coming in the other direction.

"watch where you're going." The girl that Sana ran into said.

"Sorry, gotta go." Sana said as she helped the girl up and kept running.

As Sana's mother and Rei came around the corner, Natsumi realized who she had just ran into, spun around and ran after.

"SANA?!" She yelled down the hallway. Sana turned as she ran to see Natsu8mi running after her.

"Natsumi! What room is he in?!" Sana screamed as she slowed down only slightly so that Natsumi could catch up.

"Follow me." She said and they both ran down the hospital hallway, turning another corner, Natsumi stopping abruptly in front of Akito's door.

"He's in there...but how..." Natsumi started to ask.

"I'll explain later." She said quickly as she stepped in.

"Akito..."

She went to his side immediately and stared at the closed eyes of the boy she loved.

"Akito..." She said again, nothing.

* * *

"_Sana?" Her voice. Her voice I know I hear her voice though I know it's just in my head..._

"Akito..."

_She's calling me to her, I wish I could see her one last time, but I know...I know that could never be, never be reality, no matter how hard I wish._

"Akito..." _But maybe she's alive, maybe it isn't just my imagination..._

"Wake up Akito...just wake up."

* * *

Sana's eyes welded up with tears as she looked at the non-moving figure in front of her.

Tears rolled down her cheeks and fell onto Akito's ashen white face. She couldn't help but feel a sadness well up inside of her chest, she felt sick at the thought of never talking to her Akito again.

* * *

_Sana..._

__

"Wake up Akito...wake up..."

* * *

But as she started to wipe the tears from her face, something happened, something that the nurses and doctors and psychiatrists would say later in their research and medical books as impossible,

Sana stared wide eyed at the boy lying in front of her, his hand stroking her cheek, his eyes open and a small smile playing on his lips.

"_Hey_" He said quietly before his hand fell back to his side and his eyes closed once more.

_The end!!!!!!!!_

_Did everyone get that? He's going to be ok! YAY!! ok, I finally finished, I know I know it took me FOREVER to update that, my apologies, but it's done now...please review!!!!!_


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